Insight On Reducing Stress by Allowing

He names one cause: a rigid view of what the universe should be like, and the universe not playing along. Your spouse, career, money or children are the occasions, but the resistance to the unexpected is what creates the stress. He gives the example of expecting a promotion while your boss plans a layoff.

No. He says that when you have a clear vision, you should try with every fiber of your being to set things straight. Acceptance means not letting the situation shake your equanimity while you do so. His line is that actions are within your control, but the outcome is not.

He says that while life is unpredictable, bad things will fall from the sky, and you can either get messy or put up a transparent umbrella and say, look at the pretty shades of yellow. It is a vivid, humorous picture of staying untouched and even curious. He calls this far better, and a learnable skill like riding a bicycle.

It is the instinct to call everything that happens good or bad, dozens of times a day. His examples are finding the last cup of coffee gone, leaving a dirty pot to clean, or hearing that your in-laws are coming for the weekend. He says this quiet habit greatly increases your stress.

A poor man borrows money for a stallion, which escapes, then returns with a dozen wild horses. His son is later injured by one of them, and the limp keeps him from being taken by the king's press gangs. Neighbors call each turn fortunate or unfortunate, while the man simply shrugs and refuses to decide. The story shows how little a single moment tells you.

You look back on your life for something you once thought was bad that time showed to be good. Then you ask whether the thing you are about to call bad could also turn out well. He says asking this sincerely opens possibilities you would not have seen and lets a lot of stress leave.