Quick Confidence Booster

Roger points out that the word confidence comes from the Latin fidere, to trust fully. So confidence isn't a puffed-up chest or a bone-crushing handshake, and it isn't certainty that things will go your way. It is trusting that you'll deal with whatever happens, which lets you relax with uncertainty.

Each shows confidence without self-doubt. The salmon weaves through roots and sunlit water without thinking about how to move its tail. The eagle rides rising warm air, and the oak branches and sends down roots as every cell simply knows what to do. The session then points out that you grew the same way, from a baby into an adult.

The session says a confident person can still feel butterflies, smile and say, 'Well, that's interesting.' That feeling is only a small part of you doing its job. You are also more than any feeling of certainty. Who you are at your most confident is pure engagement, fully immersed in what you're doing.

You're invited to dream of being a person who likes or loves you, taking on their thoughts, feelings and even memories for about a minute. From there you look at yourself over there. The point is not perfection but feeling the warmth and fairness they have toward you.

It is part of the future-you section. Confidence isn't waiting to feel certain, so if you feel 70 or 80 percent sure and the risks are fairly low, you go ahead. Alongside this, a story about a new teacher who once planned every lesson for two hours shows trust growing through practice.

Roger describes a 2010 study across four countries in which people rated themselves, and a good friend rated them too. People tended to see themselves as less assertive and confident than their friends did. He uses it to suggest that others may already see you as more confident than you feel.