Forgiveness

Emily points out how easy it is to forgive a toddler who slips on the playground or makes a mess at dinner. You see how much they had to learn and how innocent they were. From that softer view you say, "I forgive you, not because I agree with what you did, but because I'm choosing to trust that you were doing the best you could with the tools you had."

You imagine the person near the end of life, with a lived-in face and clouded eyes. Then you ask yourself whether you want them to take this transgression to their grave, or whether you'd like to resolve the animosity now. You say "I forgive you" again, this time adding that you're ready to release them and take your energy back, not that you want them in your life.

No. Emily says directly that forgiveness is not consent and does not condone behaviour. She frames it as a gift to yourself and a step toward acceptance, because anger you carry causes stress in your own body, while the other person can't feel it.

After the three ages, you picture the energetic cord between you and the person and cut it however feels right. Emily offers dropping a heavy anchor, releasing a helium balloon, a clean snip with scissors or an exacto knife, or even an ax. Then you watch them drift further away and let all the energy you've given them return to you.

Yes. Emily says you can use it on someone who hurt you, on yourself, or on a public figure. She also says you may need to return to the same person several times, and that it's fine not to feel fully ready. Your first instinct for who to focus on is a good choice.

You can say "I forgive you" aloud or silently in your mind, whichever feels more comfortable. Emily also tells you to let emotions rise if they come, with the idea that it's better out than in.